The best thing just happened. Your dream girl said yes to a date! Now comes the challenging part: the infamous first date. This could either be the story you end up telling your grandkids or just a fun night out. The great news is if you have natural chemistry, you can do the simplest things together and have a wonderful time. But there are a few big No-Nos that can crush that spark before it even gets a chance to really get started.
1. The biggest thing to avoid is “the spot “where you take all of your first dates. It seems like a great idea in the beginning. You want to impress this incredible woman you just met. If dates in the past loved the place, then it’s guaranteed to work right? While it’s understandable in theory to recreate what’s worked in the past, it actually gives off the wrong impression. It will likely be noticeable that this is a routine for you and will make her feel like she’s just a number to you.
2. Along those lines, avoid places where you know a lot of the people there. The first date isn’t a time to impress her with the people you know or create more security for your nerves by surrounding yourself with people you feel comfortable around. She will feel like she’s competing for your attention the whole evening or that you would rather be with your friends than alone with her.
3. Don’t buy tickets to a comedy club or show on a first date. If there’s a lot of comedy that isn’t her style at best she’ll be bored out of her mind, at worst she’ll be offended by the material. Either ruins the night. And, if it’s a comic who likes to antagonize the audience, your date would probably hate being signaled out and ridiculed, especially on a first date. Comedy Clubs can be surprisingly aggressive venues where shock comics enjoy getting a reaction from the audience. Your date won’t appreciate you for it. Comedy shows, especially improv, are risky too. The probability that one person on the date will be having a lot more fun than the other is high when it comes to comedy shows because what people find funny is so individual. If you both enjoy comedy and hit it off on the first few dates, plan to see a show you both know you’ll love. That’s guaranteed to be a fun evening together. On a first date, let a shared sense of humor unfold more organically. The thrill of discovering you both laugh at the same thing is a special one because a shared sense of humor is important in a relationship. Let it happen naturally and delightfully.
This first date is the time to get to know one another without outside input on your relationship. It’s a private space to see what’s there between you two and enjoy exploring the connection exclusively. Nurturing that initial spark that brought you together is your number one priority.
This doesn’t mean the date has to be overly careful or precious. Fun is your magic ingredient for great first dates. When people are having fun, their most relaxed, natural self comes through. You get to know a lot about someone when they are letting loose and having a wonderful time.
Even if you discover soon into the date you aren’t a good match, at least you will know you gave it a fair shot.